Have you ever been so sick that your head just doesn’t feel like it’s part of your body? Your sinuses are so blocked that not only can you not breath, you can’t even hear? Every part of your face aches, your teeth hurt, your jaw is sore, in fact, your whole body suffers from this one infection? That’s how I feel at the moment, but it made me start thinking about this past fall.
I realized that I had felt like I had a spiritual sinus infection. Everything was impacted by it, my physical health, my decisions, my judgment, my heart; all because something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on was wrong. I tried every “medication” I could think of, but nothing seemed to relieve the aches and pains.
But then. Jehovah Raphe. The great physician got a hold of me.
In January, I attended Passion 2012, a conference put on by Louie Giglio and Passion268 every year for college aged youth in Atlanta, Georgia. I was blessed to go with 2 friends and bring 8 girls that we had discipled together along with us…but it was me that God wanted sitting in that stadium with 45000 other people. The first night’s message was on Luke 7, when Jesus interrupts a funeral procession and raises the dead boy back to life. Louie talked about needing a resurrection in our lives, a divine interruption. And oh, did I need an interruption, I needed my spirit revived and as I went to my small group that night, that was exactly what I asked them to pray for. 11 years of full time ministry had taken a toll on my heart; everything ached, my ears couldn’t hear and I longed for Him to interrupt.
Over the past, probably 6 months, I had sought the Lord. I knew I needed to be in His word, to be praying, worshipping but I felt like I was surrounded by silence. My soul hadn’t been excited about anything for so long. It felt like disappointment after disappointment and leading a staff of 7 others, I felt that I had to be able to keep my head up for them, to encourage them but so desperately needed the encouragement myself. I felt like I was being carried out of the city to my funeral…but God.
Right there, in the midst of thousands, God cleared me out. He opened my ears and let me hear. Luke 7:16 says that the people glorified God when Jesus raised the dead boy and said “God has come back”. That’s how I feel, God has returned, although I know He never left me, He was quiet. Why, I don’t know, He can show me if He wants, but the joy in my heart that has returned from hearing His voice is so incredibly overwhelming that “why” doesn’t really matter to me right now.
As I sat down to do my devotions this morning, like I do almost every morning, the Word seemed to be screaming at me. The Lord was pointing out all sorts of things, teaching me His secrets, causing me to turn to this passage and that, connecting all sorts of ideas… I wanted to laugh out loud I was so thrilled with His voice!
Nothing else has changed, none of my circumstances, situations I need to deal with, ministry decisions to be made, people in my life, but He has opened my ears. He interrupted. And that has made all the difference.