A wise woman builds her house but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1
What’s in between these two verses; in little, tiny, imperceptible font, is that the fool, often believes she is building when she is actually tearing down. There comes a time (about once a month..) that I think my husband is a jerk. I see everything through a hypercritical lens and can sometimes fool myself into thinking that it is not only wise but dutiful to criticize his words and actions in order to build our home into a more peaceful place. Sounds ridiculous, but makes complete sense in my mind when I am seeking my own council. Even crazier, is that the Lord has already pointed out to me in the past that nothing changes in our home except my perspective during those days. God’s word remains constant and trustworthy. It says be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. God’s word prescribes a marriage that includes supporting my husband and praying for his heart when I think it is out of whack. The world and my flesh rears up and jumps on weakness. God’s word says that I need to submit to my husband and to encourage and support him. It tells me that my tongue is full of deadly poison. Do I want to poison the man who will lead our home? Do I want a man I can tear down and push around? Sometimes I trust my flesh and respond with correction and criticism and what I get is a leader who is weakened. In accomplishing my cursed desire to rule over him I must pull him down and then instantly find myself in a very confined space. Prayer is like breath, it allows us to take a step back and find a wider space. Most agree prayer is so important, but at these times it becomes so obvious. It is in talking with my creator that I gain a healthier perspective. I exchange my twisted views for His as I ask Him to help me see truth. I ask Him to take my corrupted veil and to allow me to see things with His vision. I ask Him to show me the Godly man who leads our home with strength and integrity. I ask Jesus to make me see the man who is generous and kind-hearted. I ask Him to show me the man who is his son and who is the father of not only our children but also a father figure to many children in the community. I ask Him to show me the man whom I love and admire and trust for advice. As I pray, the ice melts off of my heart as my heavenly father replaces my broken lens with His truth. I find myself humbled and amazed and in awe of our Creator, in love with Him and my husband as well.
~ April Schrader